Thursday, January 23, 2014

Thankful Thursday: he never stops, he never ever stops

happy thankful thursday to you!

i've been intentionally staying away from thankful thursdays recently
but today i'm biting the bullet
so here goes nothing

one of my favorite worship songs is
 "blessed be your name"
its an extremely simple and slightly repetitive song
but i think that's why i like it so much
it's straight to the point
and over the past couple weeks there is one line of lyrics from that song
that keeps replaying over and over in my head
when i'm washing the dishes
when i'm laying in bed
when i'm working
"you give and take away, you give and take away" 

the past few months have been beautiful
so very very beautiful
filled with excitement and newness and beauty and wonder
then there was a day when everything shifted
directions were changed and rhythm was broken

the past couple weeks have been unexpected to say the least
a few months ago i never thought i would be
where i am right now
i never thought i'd be
picking up the pieces of a failed relationship
dealing with different disappointments and let downs
struggling to find anything positive about where i am
i never thought i'd be writing a post about all this

 over the past couple of days i have been reminded that
everything i have belongs to the one who provided me with them
all are provisions given to me by my heavenly father

talents and abilities
the roof over my head

he most certainly gives and gives abundantly
and on occasion he does take away

in the past couple weeks i have lost things
things i held dear
 things i truly did care about
things that in my selfishness and entitlement
 i held onto tightly and labeled as "mine"

well it took losing them 
to realize none of them were actually mine to begin with
they were gifts that were given to me
and that were intricately created by 
 the hands of the lord

it took a painful break up
to realize the man i "lost" was never actually mine
he belongs to the lord just like i do
the relationship we had
it was never mine
rather it was a beautiful gift that was given to me
 for that specific moment in time

it took losing material possessions that i daily rely on
to realize they aren't mine and never have been
{and also to remind me who is really orchestrating my finances}
they are all provisions that were given to me
things in no way i deserve
and yet i feel entitled to

it took a week of laying in bed 
sicker than i've been in years
to realize that my body and my health are not my own
they are in the hands of my creator
good health is truly a gift
and something that is so easily taken for granted

so here it is plain and simple
 nothing is our own
 god is good

when he gives 
he is good
when he takes away
he is still good
he knows us
he knows what's best
and it's in the moments he takes away
he swoops in and does something that only he can do
he restores
he fixes
he heals
he reveals how much he wants us
and how much he wants us to experience abundant life

i get so caught up in what i've lost
i become blind to the fact that god is still working
because in what we see as loss god is still giving
he never stops
he never ever stops

yes the lord has taken things away in the past couple of weeks
but in the past couple of weeks
i have never experienced more love and grace 
from my friends
i have never felt so deeply cared for 
and affirmed 
{things i don't deserve}
god is radiating through my sweet friends
he is restoring my brokenness through his provisions

he is once again proving to me
that he is the most important thing
that i need to be willing to give up and let go of things i hold dear
{because they aren't even mine}
for him
for his will
for his plan
because he is good

today i am thankful for so much
for starters
i am thankful for
friends who are patient with me
friends who deeply care for me
friends who listen
friends who hold me when i'm hurting
friends who put there hands on me to let me know they are there
visiting friends i haven't seen in years
trips to san fransico
hikes in berkley

glasses of wine and downton abbey
snuggles from my puppy
watching my nephew learn how to smile

sleepovers with my niece
making terrariums
playing with flowers
conversation over beer and scrabble
that at any given moment i can walk into a room and see gracie asleep like this
{my dog is a total freak}

friends who are persistent
friends who speak truth
friends who take care of me when i'm sick
trips to orange county
meeting with brides
morning coffee on the patio with margo

wedding dress shopping 
face timing with far away friends
making big decisions
taking chances
gods protection
planning a year full of weddings
spur of the moment trips to sequoia national park
long car rides with friends

i am thankful that 
god gives
takes away
and provides

 just as the song says
 god you give and take away
but today
my heart will choose to say
 blessed be your name

1 comment:

Chelsea Rain said...

Loved, loved, loved reading this. You are a precious soul, and you are loved.