Friday, October 22, 2010

The Weight of Worry.

Last night at bible study I was convicted of something big.


We went through Luke 12:22-34, a passage solely devoted to worry.  While looking into the scripture we were labeling our worries, fears and anxieties as superficial, greedy and selfish and how when we worry we are clearly not seeking and trusting the Lord. It was this morning while I was sitting alone in the library that it hit me like a ton of bricks just how much I let worry and fear dictate my life. One by one, worries started to roll through my head and I was sick to my stomach of all the things I'm not trusting the Lord in.  As quickly as I could, I started to write them down just so I could visually see how bad it really was. As I finished (though I'm sure I could have kept going if I wanted to) I started looking over them. I was embarrassed to say the least of the thoughts that consume me, but I know I am not alone in this:


Things I Fear...

  • Failure.
  • Not being able to graduate.
  • Disappointing the most important people in my life.
  • Finances.
  • That I will never know where God wants me interning with Crusade next year.
  • Rejection.
  • Heartbreak.
  • Not being good enough.
  • Being alone.
  • Never experiencing love, companionship, or a Christ centered marriage.
It wasn't until this morning that I realized how much I have been weighed down by my worry not only in my day to day life, but in my relationship with the Lord. These are fears that I have every single day, without fail, and quite honestly they have taken over my life. I sat and asked myself the only question I could, WHY?  I have absolutely no reason to fear anything, God makes that perfectly clear in His Word and in His promises to us. These fears I have are completely irrational and unnecessary and I don't want any part of them! God has never left me hung out to dry, he ALWAYS provides even more than I need and his timing is nothing but perfect. 

All of these silly fears that I have are all going to have an outcome. God has already taken care of each of them and whatever he has chosen for me, He has intricately designed and created specifically for me and will come into play when I am equipped for them.  

Now, there is NO room in my life for unnecessary fear. A weight has been lifted. My trust belongs to the Lord.

Do not be anxious 
about anything, but in everything by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving
let your requests be known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.




-Philippians 4:6-7



2 comments:

Jane Gordon said...

I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH RAE....MOMMY

Stephanie Johnson said...

Rae, I love you for one. Two, you are an amazing example of Christ to me and I am so glad I can live with you. Three, this is so true of all of us and I appreciate your honesty so much! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you and I'll be praying for you. =) God has you in his arms!!! =)
love, Steph