Thursday, August 8, 2013

Thankful Thursday: swallowing my pride and choking down some humble pie

Happy Thankful Thursday to you!

i have to start off by saying that
there's nothing i like more than big fat slice of humble pie.
{sarcasm}


pride.
a word i have come to know and hate as of late.
i've learned i'm full of it.
and trust me i'm not proud of it
{a little play on words for ya}

god has a great way of putting me in my place
exactly when i need it.

the past 7 years i have been independent
on my own
making home{s} for myself all over central and southern california
i have been blessed with amazing opportunities to
 grow
learn from my mistakes
travel the world
 meet new people
learn to live with all types of roommates
 learn to be an adult
make my own decisions

i have moved 5 times in the past 7 years
but every time i have it's always been for something specific
school, work....

as i sit here and write this
i'm about to make my 6th move
but this ones different
{very different}
and extremely humbling
and to be honest i'm terrified

not necessarily about the move
but about the fact that i literally have no idea what my life will look like tomorrow
in the coming days, weeks, months
here is where i get real honest...
i'm 25
i left my job of two years in full time ministry
i'm now unemployed
i'm leaving my amazing roommates who i can't imagine living without
and i'm moving back in with my parents
{i literally had to choke down my pride as i wrote that}

like i said
god knows exactly where and when to humble me
and currently there's no time like the present

i'm struggling
i'm struggling comparing myself to those around me
who are "moving on" with their lives
as i take what appears to me as giant "steps back"
if you had asked me in college where i thought i'd be 5 years down the road
it would not have been here
i would not be single, unemployed and moving in with my parents.
{once again swallowing my pride}

BUT
god is good
he is faithful
he is steadfast
i can not mess up his plan
and there is comfort in that
these are promises that i am clinging to for dear life

so today,
today i am thankful for
the past two years
working for cru
living with phenomenal women who have taught me so much


our wonderful and cute apartment
irvine
learning to be independent 
learning to be dependent on the lord
parents who are welcoming me home with open arms
learning to be content with where i am
god's word
promises in scripture
walking blindly into the unknown
figuring out what im passionate about
flowers, flowers oh and flowers


being a dreamer
not being afraid of chasing after dreams
whatever the heck lies ahead
being fully known
and fully loved by god
that as i sit here and pack
as walls and spaces become empty
 i can't help and smile at the memories made in this place


no matter where you are in life,
what are the things that you are thankful for right this very moment?....



2 comments:

Monica Gupta said...

Ephesians 3:16-21, but especially 20 :)

I am thankful for parents! My mom wrote me Ephesians 3:20 in a card once when I was having a similar moment of confusion about my life path and needing to trust in the Lord.

Keep holding fast to His promises. He goes behind and before us!

Chelsea Rain said...

It's not always easy living with parents, but having just moved back out, I appreciate them so much for the time they let me stay with them. Remember to pray for them!

I am thankful for the lessons in humility the Lord let me go through, because even though they absolutely stunk in the moment, they were such wonderful stretching times in hindsight. I'm grateful Father didn't let me go through the rest of my life not knowing my areas of pride, even if they weren't the outwardly kinds.

Praying for your new adventure, and that the Lord would bless your family and always bring you lots of flowers <3