Letting Go{d}

Want the truth?

This timid and shy young woman is stubborn.

There, I said it.

I am stubborn.

I am set in my ways.

Once I have something in my head,

it stays there and it must be lived out.

Even knowing something isn't good for me,

I can't let go.

I can't let go of hopes, dreams, desires that I've had for so long...

I can't ever fully give things over to the Lord.

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It's crazy how since I have been doing work in ministry, 

I am becoming more and more aware of areas in my life that need growth.

Everything I have been trying to hide is slowly making it's way to the surface,

for everyone to see.

In the past few weeks God has been challenging me.

Challenging me to let things go.

Completely.

He is in control.

Not me.

It was a couple weeks ago that I did something I've never sincerely done before.

I prayed what some may call a very "dangerous prayer".

I prayed for change.

To be changed.

I prayed to fully let things go.

I prayed for God to do whatever He wants in my life.

 I am not finding any satisfaction in my stubbornness.

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I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to let go.

I'm ready to put things behind me.

I'm ready for whatever adventures the Lord has waiting for me.

And I am so ready to be set in His ways,

not my own.